I wrote this in response to losing my eyesight for two weeks.
When your body fails you fear will steps in. During this time you may ask yourself, “How will I make it?”, or “Who will help me?” and “Why do I have to suffer?” After this, pity comes, and then depression. You might then ask yourself, “Is life only about suffering?”
To all of these questions there is no correct answer. Suffering is a reality of life that brings out the best and the worse of us all. We become stronger from the pain or we break from the pressure. Both a blessing and a curse, suffering sheds light on our strengths and expose our weaknesses.
In all of this, I am a witness to both suffering and joy, both fear and fearlessness. Life, in one way or another is not fair and full of pain. It is scary and we don’t know the ending to our individual stories. Added to this, fear of the unknown waits to disturb our hearts. It limits our lives from enjoying what we do have. What I have concluded is that life is hard, get a helmet! And, that fear is useless.
Past all of my suffering is surrender. In that place of surrender, where I choose to live, I smile and thank God for each new day. In that place, beyond sickle cell disease and all of its limitations, I find peace and rest. This is where I can still sing, dance and enjoy the goodness of God’s blessings. I rest in God, wipe my tears and recover from my sufferings.
Finally, I have to agree with Saint Theresa who wrote, “Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you. All things pass away, but God never changes. Patience obtains all things and he who has God finds he lacks nothing. God alone suffices.”
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